Day 577: Surfeit

I am stuffed full with a surfeit of wonderful things to rave about. I'll keep it brief (I won't). 

I had a wonderful day on my birthday. This is Big News. I often experience that very differently, don't enjoy myself at all, spend my time actively aching and bemoaning the perceived lack of progress in the year that's just passed. It's not about getting older, it's about feeling that I haven't done many of the things I want to do and that for some of them, time is most definitely running out. 

I have the best owl

However, this year, it was different. I worked. This is always a gift. Given my choices of a fairly transient lifestyle over the past few years, a day without work, especially midweek, often means a day without non-transactional human contact. I mean of course I can go to a cafe, or talk to strangers, or do something that involves other people, but it's not the same as being expected to be with others, and to have a reason to be there - a purpose, if you like. I enjoy the people I'm currently working with very much, though unfortunately I haven't had as much time as I would have liked to catch up with some of them - we're busy while we're there - but I enjoyed my busyness and the people I was busy with very much.

I was going to sit and work for the afternoon, as I had the day before, but a happy chance meant lunch with Grundel - how fantastic - and in the evening a birthday dinner  with Pudding, Adeel and Debbie. We did our drama training together and we haven't all been in the same room together for a very long time indeed. We finished in 2005 and I suspect we've only all been there at once one or two times since then, though I've seen all of them in between. Debbie's wedding gathering... I think that may have been the last time - and then as one of the main people of interest, Debbie was pretty busy making guests happy. I had a delightful time. Lots of group chatter and individual conversations with everyone, a reading from Adeel (very talented) and even a walk back to Oxford Circus to pick up my bike. Thank you all, for everything. I am more grateful than you can possibly imagine, and full of joy at the noticeable shifts that have happened between this year and last. 

Dragon rollllll

This time last year, something very significant happened - something that, along with a whole lot of work and play and support from other people - has done a huge job at dissolving all kinds of blocks that I've been hanging onto. You know, like on the Daz adverts, when you've had the 'this blood and mud and red wine not going ANYWHERE, motherfuckers' bit for the other detergents and then you have the 'oh my god, Daz gets through even the toughest dirt' sequence, with swirling water and bubbles and bits of filth lifting up and getting swept away. That's a how some of this feels. That significant process and in addition, work with a fabulous coach and some fine women and all kinds of other stuff... maybe I'm not in love yet. Maybe I'm not on THAT path, but goodness, I feel like I've done a lot of clearing.

So, a sense of progress helped, and being surrounded by good, proper, beloved friends with no fuss at all, just excellent talking, their generosity and warmth. Lucky me, and lucky me too for all the fabulous people who managed to send me card and gifts, even though this year I've hardly had a proper address.

More good shit during the week - a briefing for a job I wasn't expecting, but am very much looking forward to, meetings with friends and work people, bouffon class, a whole day of clowning with John Wright and a whole bunch of brave and funny people, a performance and the watching of a show that I enjoyed hugely. And oh, the singing, oh the voices! They made me ache with happy, they did. Actually ache. 

Thank you, tasty Aly, lovely Shirley, Yot, Lilley and Daniel for your collection of pleasing owls, your fine words, for being who you are and for one big fat Lilleysnip. Mint!