Day 196 - Fake

Today is fake Day 196. Don't tell anyone. 


It's tiring, taking a class of three people. Jeeeees! It really is. We need to find a solution. It was good, though. It's intense for the people in the class, but they really do get a lot of stage time, which has to be good. Excellent group today. Small, but ace as you like. 


Now I'm REALLY tired. And REALLY tempted to watch the second half of Silent Witness. I love that programme, I do. I also love Midsomer Murders, and there's no excuse for that. Aah, the pleasures that we find in things. 


I had a free go on Victoria Sandison yesterday. That was unexpected. And very nice. Somebody is cackling outside my third floor window. Let's hope it's a neighbour on a roof terrace, not a ghoul. Maybe I'll ask. I had a whole hour and a bit of free Vic and I'm very pleased about that. 


I was thinking about Steve Wheeler today. He wanted a blog mention ages ago. Here it is, Roof-Fox. Would be great to catch up. Right now, though, the thing I want more than anything in the world is a warm bed and a Tardis night - not many hours, maybe, but very concentrated, bendy-time sleep. 

Day 195 - Surprise

Good things can creep up on you. Good things can bite you and you don’t even know it until you get a little itchy bubble under your skin that keeps reminding you.

I am grateful for the reams of easy company and welcome acceptance I’ve experienced today. It’s a testament to Esther Lilley that all of her friends and family are so apt to get on with each other. So many of them did. I am inspired by so many of them too. Daniel’s sister Sarah & Rob and their baby, Reuben (who allowed himself to be held and jogged and giggled today, in a baby tux at the wedding, then a suity babygro). I am so smitten with him, as are all who interact with him, it seems.

I feel like I’ve been welcomed into all kinds of families today – Ruth’s, with her entertaining, happy children, warm husband (goodness, that doesn’t sound quite like I meant it to) and easy company. Amy, Sam and their dad, David, who had me for dinner and did family laughing with me involved. Good, rich chats with Amy.

Similar suit - the Rueb and his ma are lovelier, though

Rod, Lilley’s legendary brother, and her mum & Wil. Lilley and Daniel, who are now a family themselves, and Daniel’s dad (another revelation – how did I manage not to speak to him yesterday?) There are a number of people I missed yesterday – of particular note is lovely Suzy Furey – she said hi and I didn’t understand quite who she was. If only I had. She’s such a nice lady. I wish I’d spoken to her. Wonderful, stylish Fran. Another Ruth, all the other people who came to the hen do. Thank you, Esther Lilley Harvey, for so many new people to play with.

Very pleased about an unsolicited offer of work, talking to someone by chance (I think because of ‘my’ baby – not mine, of course. Sarah’s. He had elephant ears on today. I’m surprised nobody gobbled him up in one mouthful, that’s how cute he looked. A roast chicken and some delicious parsnips. A bed. A book. My thoughts. All these are good things I am giving thanks for today.

Day 194 - Dooo, dooo, da doo doo doo doo....

There went the bride. I didn't write this yesterday. The day was packed to the absolute gills and I got home and crumpled into the tasty-wide bed all ready for me. My fingers didn't so much as twitch. Occasionally, I decide not to blog because I'm too tired, and many of those times, I fail. I get home and try to settle, but there's something. Even when I don't have internet, the habit is ingrained and I can't settle until it's done. Not yesterday. Just grateful bed-crawling. 


Do people always say the bride was radiant? Maybe they do, but they didn't see Esther Lilley, now Esther Lilley Harvey. She was in her princessly element. She glowed all day and all night. She squealed. She blossomed. She made every person in the room feel special, even when the count was well over a hundred. Daniel looked terribly pleased with himself - they both did - and rightly so. They are both very pleasing indeed. 


More than anything else, I am so glad that this huge day, held in a medieval hall, lived up to their expectations, and I'm delighted by their love for each other. It's inspiring, reassuring, full of hope and comfort, and their whole journey is very exciting. May it continue to be as rich and full of fruit as ever. 

Day 193 - Polly Pocket

What lovely hospitality.

For many years, I have considered myself a terrible guest. I’ve avoided visiting even beloved friends because of this. I’m not a good guest, I get in the way, I don’t know how to be gracious (etc.). Today, I’ve been welcomed and hosted in two different houses (opposite each other, in the same street) and I have enjoyed it very much.

I played with marbles and Polly Pocket dolls with two articulate, interesting children, and assisted in the making of scoobies. I was inwardly scornful of Polly Pocket dolls until I realised how easily the heads come off and can by stuck onto the wrong body, and that they all have rubber clothes. After that, it was fun. Hard, when the little girl filled their swimming pool, not to play the ‘Aaarrgggh, there’s a floating head in the pool!’ game. I just managed to refrain.

I had my nails painted (I KNOW!), had big conversations and lovely food. Tomorrow, my beloved friend is marrying her beloved man. I’m excited for her, and very much looking forward to seeing her in the morning. 

Day 192 - Release The Turns

Laughed a lot today. Got paid for it. I spent the day with a roomful of really nice people. I'm quite taken with Gigi (that sounds sleazier than it was meant to). She's my counterpart in the big job we're doing, which means we won't get to work together. She is funny, though, and down to earth. Jerry and Pat are a scream, both separately and together. They outdo each other on silliness. SJ is always a pleasure and I'm delighted by Adele, her big eyes, her directness and her entirely engaging voice/accent/way of talking combo.


Love to lots of people. Glad that I have such people in my life. I'm feeling huge compassion with one beloved person at the moment; huge joy for another; simple gratitude for Sandison, who I'll see unexpectedly tomorrow. 


I am full of the joys of good things, but once again, my eyes are only just resisting sleep. It's time. It's time. Release the turns!

Day 191 - Late Like a Rabbit

American gentleman on the train. He was proud of his daughter, making feature films and living out her father’s artistic side, along with his musician son. He was in finance. He’d made a choice: music or money. He had a gentle face and voice to go with it. Direct, though. I liked him.

Lots. Of. Work.

Been up too long. Tired, but happy. The internet has stopped. It’s saying ‘GO TO BED, YOU NOB!’ I’ll heed it

Day 190 - Blurf

One hundred and ninety days. Ten days until 200-day. I think that if I am to continue, I need to change my focus. I need ideas about how to stimulate my mind in a new way. I'm inspired again by Sarah Thomasin, who is my sister (http://100poetryforms.wordpress.com), and who has allowed her 100 sestina idea to morph into 100 poetry forms. I love it, and they're very, very good.


Today was long, but good. Tomorrow too. I'm grateful for all this work, if run a little ragged by it. I'm grateful for lots of long train journeys, full of work. I'm grateful for another night in this bed before a few more in another. 


I am grateful for friends with the courage to tell me when things are not quite right. Time to do things differently, and to learn from this in any way possible. 

Day 189 - Homonym

Grateful for a swim, a long walk with Ruth, a chance to see Marghie and to meet Peter, who speaks Spanish and French and was a very nice old gentleman. Such a beautiful day, full of sun and rain, light and green (the delicate, fresh greens of young leaves).


Ruth really made me laugh with the way she said 'Look at the rape!' with such glee. It's entirely inappropriate, I'm sure, to find that so funny, but it was. It was so jolly in the sun. It was so not meant that way. 


A lovely lunch with Ruth, an early celebration of her birthday. And a pudding. Oh.


An impro session with lots of new people, and one person I know. It was fun, and so good to play. And now the chance to sleeeeep. For Britain. Until quite early tomorrow. Can't Wait.

Day 188 - ladies, dogs, rats

What a pleasing day.

I failed to swim. I didn’t quite leave the house in time, even though I had time. The sun was generous and I know it would have been beautiful. I would have said good morning to ladies, dogs and rats. The water would have reminded me of the vitality of my body. I didn’t. I did have a chat with Joan, just back from her holiday and an absolute pleasure, all short-haired and a little bit tanned, and giddy from lack of sleep after a late flight to Gatwick and two night buses home.

Then my assessment centre for a summer job, which was a treat. Such a treat. It was quite hard, in points. It was a series of group exercises and an interview. The interview was always going to be fine. I feel very little pressure with interviews. It’s such a two-way thing. You’re there to find out about each other as people and organisations. If either party doesn’t want to take it further, that’s fine. I don’t feel any pressure to perform. And group exercises? I love them. No pressure…

Except that these group exercises all involved being on the spot, on your own, trying to manage a group of kids. Only we didn’t have any kids in the room, so all the other attendees obliged. Sometimes, they were downright rude and sometimes lovely – all under orders. It was brilliant! I think I enjoyed playing a difficult teenager more than anyone could have expected. It’s a balance. I tried not to screw over my fellow applicants and I succeeded every time but one, where my ‘obvious’ had come out of my mouth before could stop it and there it was. My intention wasn’t to be a dick, but dickishness may have been done by me. Not quite the same thing. The person on the spot extracated herself, though, so if there was egg on a face, it was mine. All good.

I had such fun playing, I sometimes forgot myself. The whole group was finding games throughout and playing them hard. One of them was to endow most of the characters we talked about with the physical characteristics of one of the hosts, which was insulting, but made him laugh a lot. Once again, All Good. And I swapped numbers with a girl who was just so pleasing to play with that we thought we’d better maybe do some acting together. She was so into her characters that she was entirely transformed and natural, and that she and I ended up having a sustained argument that I swear we both cared about, only we didn’t, because it was all pretend. Loved it. Lots of good people. I hope I get to work with some of them this summer.

I had a very peaceful lunch with my computer in a café near Charing Cross, next to a Russian woman teaching Russian to a French man. Very pleasing. I sensed a little sexual tension between them. He was really quite attractive (though no older than late twenties, I think). I took her card. I liked hearing them do their lesson. Perhaps I will treat myself to a lesson or two with her. Or maybe I’ll just pay her to speak to me. Perv.

And then a fabulous meeting with Dylan Emery to talk about impro. It was fascinating and hugely useful, and I got to meet his lovely wife and curly-bonced, open-faced daughter, who was a delight. So comfortable in her skin – great merit to her parents – and so engaging! I enjoyed the whole afternoon very much…

Then I caught up with Rob – good stuff – and we shall have a think. I’m excited. First class this Monday. Woop Doop!

Kaira (from the Ukraine) has done a beautiful job on my bridesmaid’s dress. It fits like it had been made with me in mind now that she’s done her magic. She is goooood. And from there, I came straight up to Ruth’s. I dithered and got myself together until she came home and then I had an unadulterated hour of Ruth time. Very happy about that indeed. Tomorrow, we’ll walk and thein maybe we’ll pudding, possibly even lunch. Either of those ridiculous verbs will do.

Grateful for work that, once again, really feels like play, and like it’ll be a massive challenge too. And for people that make me happy.

Day 187 - Nuff Said

Day 186 - Good Recipe

No late night onlineness today. Bum. I’m in the Premier Inn and it lied. It said I could get online for free at the Beefeater, but that was not the truth. I made good use of my free 30 minutes, but I had work that needed to be done. And I’m writing right now, aren’t I? It’s all a bit too meta for my liking today, but it’s still happening.

I saw two lovely dogs today – a beige girl that may have been a pitbull cross. Well’ard, anyway. And what looked like an American Pitbull, or maybe an American something else. White. Very male. Very macho-looking. He whimpered like a baby most of the time. Ha ha ha. High-pitched boy dogs. Love them. The couple who had them were well’ard too. I’m testing out my theory that if you compliment someone’s dog (especially if you really mean it), you will talk to people you might otherwise have been scared of, and they’ll talk to you too. Maybe I’ll come a cropper one day. There was one a few weeks ago who said ‘No.’ when I asked if I could pet his dog, and nothing more, but when I came out of the shop I’d gone in, he’d finished his pasty and had given the dog some, and he called me over. So far, always good.

Imagine this dog whining, all marshmallowy

I watched some fascinating children too. Makes me sound like a weirdo. No. I worked in Starbucks today and any Starbucks is full of children. Today, there were lots of mothers with babies young enough to be strapped to their bellies. There was an almost-newborn, one that was doing excellent Brand New Walking (all lurches and staccato stepping). She (I think) was a smiler. And there was a wide-eyed boy of three or so who had the face of wonder on him. And another that was riding his scooter backwards. Not bad. I did get some work done. I’m nearly done with two deadlines and I have some more to do for tomorrow, but I’ll be up early and all raring to go and that.

The man opposite me on the train was watching something on his iPhone and he kept giggling and snorting out of the blue. I loved it. I didn’t get over it for the whole journey. It pleased me every single time.

Dogs, children and people laughing solo in public, at pieces of technology. That’s my kind of day.