Day 170 - I didn't dream it

Not in my dream

I am humbled by this day, in many ways, from being blessed with people I miss but rarely see (most notably lovely Sue from the canteen, who warms me). A trip back to Hasbro, my 7-year job, and a wonderful feeling. I have never once regretted my decision to leave that place. Not one single time. I can go back with warmth and see the things I loved about it and bless them from the distance I have now. How lucky am I?

This one neither

A nublet of synchronicity this morning - I decide on a particular thing to do and later in the day, I get an email from a person requesting just exactly that. At these times, I am especially grateful... I feel that I can love this universe, because it loves me. I had another little realisation that I'm not sure I can put into words here. There are things I have to commit to changing, deeply, fundamentally. When I do, I think they will produce the biggest life change of this whole lifetime - and there've been a few. Bigger even than stopping drinking. When I did that, someone listened to my plans and goals and said 'you can do all of that, no problem, but not while you keep drinking like this - that has to go'. There's another thing I need to stop doing to make room for what I want - one huge one and a couple of associated minnows. Oh, ommmmmmm. 

Or this

I'm having very disturbing dreams at the moment, full of violence and weirdness. Very interesting. For a long time now, I have not considered even the ugliest of dreams I've had to be nightmares. I'm not saying I'm immune. If, in the dream, I was terribly afraid, that might seem more like a nightmare. These aren't completely terrifying. They're dissociated horror. They're really fascinating creatures. None of today's images appeared in any of my dreams. Not even for a few seconds. Whatever you do, don't you go dreaming about them now... will you...