Day 585: There Is Bacon

A crow on a pavement with a grape in its mouth, held delicately. Poetry. 

On a train, over the tannoi: "This is a passenger announcement: there is bacon...". Spoken with an upward inflection and an almost-smugness, like some kind of flirtatious suggestion. God, I prayed that it would stop there, or that she'd end it with 'Just sayin'.', but no, she continued the list, in the end, after a humungous pause filled, in my case at least, with glee. 

Challenges met by good friends. Ungroundedness again, a bit. My home is not to be my home for long. Again. I'm processing that. I was cool with it (and there's nothing at all I can do about it) but I realise that I've already started to think of it differently, and to consider having no base at all again, and to put paid to the reason for moving here and the intention with which it was done. 

Work-based challenges too, and personal ones, all intertwined, and a lonesome ache for community and belonging, somewhere, in a truly-madly-deeply fitting way, in some part of my life, and for a purpose. And I understand, of course I understand, that until I find it here, until I stop looking outside and needing other people to help/approve of/love me, then this experience will continue to present itself for my sampling pleasure, and that it's only by letting go of any need for all of those things, even though, in my world view, they are fundamental human needs, that they will show themselves as always having been there and always there to catch me when I fall.

It's not the situation that is 'bad', but the not accepting of a situation that can make it painful, or challenging, or wrong. Start from where you are. Here I am. I want to be there, so I'll just start... No. Start from here. Otherwise, it's like trying to dream someone else's dream or think their thoughts. Not possible. Not in this realm, anyway. Other arenas may well prove me wrong.


A leap of faith needs to be taken. I haven't been let down yet, except in/by/through my mind. The universe, whatever we may be, always provides. 

Maybe I need to walk a few more high-wires to put it to the test.