Day 593: Catching Patterns on Sunday

Lordy! Three days of process coaching with some of the richest streams of fabulousness i've been around in a very long time (except last time i saw them). I feel like I've been through a whole soap opera over the last three days. 

I spent a lot of Friday crying with commitment over a thing that wasn't a thing but that that meant that another thing might be true and that would be (and meant I was) just awful. Thanks to fantastic Kimberley, her skill, her warmth and her patience, I checked out my reasoning and had a lovely night in Croydon on the back of it. And here I am being all flippant, but honestly, I was inconsolable, and Nothing Had Happened. It was all story. And if you don't believe in the power of story, there's your proof. And the best bit is that even if my story had been true, or something worse had been true, I would have been fine. Fuck's sake!

Saturday - oh, Saturday. I was fine, and then, guess what - I thought I must be doing the course wrong because I was fine and it would have been useful for me to be deeper into not being fine that day. And then we went dancing, 5 Rhythms, Sue Rickards being stunning at the desk, and the weight of the world just melted into the movements of my body. I had an actual fight in dance form, with a stranger. I can't tell you how long I've been suggesting to people that an actual fight might make things better. It's either that or sex for that level of passion, and often it's the fight I'd prefer. So me and this stranger wrestled and hissed and did everything but hit (or hit on) and it was the best thing ever. 

And lovely Kimberly came with me. I was proud and delighted and excited and just so delicioused out by the whole experience of being there with this wonderful personand ignoring   each other for most of it, on purpose, till it was our time to dance with each other, and then having a lovely time dancing. I loved it, even though my knees complained a bit after. Rich and brave and tasty and wonderful, and so beautifully shared.

And today, oh today... More course. Great people. Richness of the work and some really surprising stuff done... and then what? And then a show with Simon and Pattern Catchers. Maaaaan. How lucky am I to get to play with Simon Veal, and to get to be experimenting on stage like that. It's a massive privilege. Simon ROCKED tonight. He was on fire and all the while easy, calm, playful and so satisfying in his choices and in his presence. We had such wonderful fun and got to play three different mini-shows on the same night. How delightful that we're doing what we're doing. How much fun to play! People seemed genuinely interested in what we were doing, which was gratifying, and even if they hadn't liked it, we like it. We love it! It gives us joy, and if that's not enough, then what is?