Over the last few weeks, I have felt more loved and appreciated than I can remember in the whole of my life. Perhaps nothing has changed - perhaps the appreciation has been there all along and I just wasn't quite the right way out to take it in. Or perhaps I am constantly surrounded by truly lovely, loving people who express themselves freely and make it impossible for me to keep stopping the love coming in (nod to KT Tunstall there for her juicy song). Either way, I'm grateful and glad and determined to go on this way.
I can't tell you how much better it's made my life to be able to trust the people who say they love me. For years, my first thought would always be 'what do they want from me?' or 'why are they trying to trick me?'... or in even more negative moments 'what are they, idiots?'. And now, I see that they're not after anything or trying to make a dick out of me and nor are they in any way stupid. They're just seeing what I couldn't see before, just as I see things in others that it seems they can't always see. That feels beautiful, and I am, unsurprisingly, deeply grateful.
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