Day 681: The Heaviest Skies Make Way for Rainbows

Today's utter delights include a fabulous Hungarian traveller woman who took my hand and showed me her hairline. She had incredible eyes and a beautiful, weather-worn face. And one leg missing. I liked her very much. We could hardly communicate, but she said 'I love you too' and laughed a lot. That'll do.

Thank you, nature. Thank you, playful universe. I went out to the garden the other evening to hang the washing. I was sad, desolate and wrapped up in thoughts that twisted me around their graspy little fingers and made my stomach ache, that made me see beloved friends as enemies and sat the energy of me down low below a cramped up heart. I had wrapped myself in my own straightjacket and couldn't see past that nagging bellyful of tension. I lifted my head and saw the most rich, thick, delightful rainbow arcing itself over the whole of the tellytubby field outside the house. The first was thicker and brighter, richer and more seemingly tangible than any I have seen. The cows in front looked bathed in it. Its sister (brother?) cupped it in a thinner, but equally perfect, arc. I felt the gods teasing me in the most loving of colours. I stood humbled and took it in. The photos don't give it anywhere near the glory it deserved. Its own magnificence did, and I am grateful. 

Thank you, Grundel, wise and loving brother, for the cello challenge (oh, how pleasing that these two words sound the same). Grace a toi, I have practiced every day but one in the last two weeks or more. I have grown a more loving relationship to this instrument thanks to you, and to you thanks to this instrument. I am thankful for the love you show me in your life, with your family, and for the care and humour you bring. 

What is the collective noun for chipolatas? A finger of chipolatas? A cringe? A genitalia? A fist? A podge? There were more. I have not yet chosen my favourite. 

Thank you, Tiu de Haan, for your unwavering love and championing, and for your knifelike sense of magic which cuts through the heavy-hanging curtains of my created woes and brings me pragmatism and wonder in almost equal measure (the wonder lights the way to my own practical solutions). Thank you for being a model of commitment to self-care, which allows you to give richer care to others, but makes the distinction - that is an inevitable side effect, but not the goal. That, sweet, magical sister, is your very own flavour of wisdom.

Thank you, Kath Jones, with whom tears flow so fluidly, mostly in laughter. Excuse me, is that your... is that your wonderful singing laughing sound I hear? I think it is.

And thank you Druth, for being who you are and for persevering when I don't believe your love, for making my next steps clear, for not giving up on me even when part of me has given up. It has been so painful being at odds with you these last few weeks. I like this phase better. I know what i need to do now and I know, though I couldn't hear it before , that you support me in it. 

And thank you, Self-Assessment people. You just cancelled a bill that was eating at me. Just like that. Annulled. Phooooo. Just what I needed today. You rock. 

And Rapha... you sent me texts on self-acceptance to help you translate, just when I was in the bowels of rejection of the darker sides of me. Rainbows need dark skies, heavy with rain, to make them shine.