Day 691: Surrounded

For a long time, I’ve been trying to build a better relationship with my ‘crew’. There are a number of other ways to put this. I want to be in constant, respectful, clear relationship with those voices of higher wisdom that are around and inside me.

How you see this phenomenon depends largely on how you paint your world. I have no fixed beliefs about this, but I do have a number of concepts that I like and often return to. There’s the inner mentor – the older you who knows what steps you can take now to become that same future self that’s giving you advice. Thanks to Coaches Training Institute and Tara Mohr for that way of seeing things. CTI also has a whole raft of others – your captain, who is the leader in you, the observer, and the child, among others.

I also love the idea that the ether that I cannot perceive (though I have friends who can) is peopled with beings, spirits, souls, whose sole purpose in this fraction of existence is to be my guides, lovers, and champions. They do their work through me, or guide my hands and mind to do mine. They show me what that work is. They give me that glowing, flowing buzz that lets me know that ‘this is it’ when I do. I don’t care about the truth of such a concept, only about its comfort and its joy.

Another name is ‘higher self’ or ‘inner knowing’ and of course yet one more is God, a term that defies fixed definition, even just within myself, let alone when we each try to compare our diverse concepts of it/us/him/her/them…

Because I hear it, this guidance, in words quite often, with the part of me that hears without my ears. There’s a marked difference between these words and those of my internal dialogue, which is often (though not always) pissy and unhelpful.

There’s a different tone to the answers than the voice that asks the questions, which is so fallibly, humanly mine. The answers come from a simpler place, like when you tune a radio and finally, the satisfying crispness of a voice without white noise to muffle it tells you that you’ve finally tuned in.

Today, I realised that I have this access, I have this channel, these voices have been speaking all along, waiting for me to hear. And I do hear. The difference is in the action that I take (or don’t take).

This morning, I had a clear, helpful download of information about a course I’m leading soon – how to structure it to do the almost impossible task of concentrating two and a half days’ worth of course into five hours. I even heard what to say and when to say it. That didn’t feel like thinking, just receiving, like that privileged place of awe that happens when a poem comes, already mostly formed, or when an idea drops in from… somewhere… or a song.

And maybe, here’s another take, more scientific and less magical, that it’s just a creative process, where rumination lives up to its roots. I have an idea in my mind our mouth and then I swallow it for processing. It makes its way round all my thinking stomachs, occasionally coming back to consciousness for a further chew, before (and this is where the metaphor falls down a little) being processed into a steaming turd full of everything that’s needed for the execution of said idea. If only cows spat up PhD theses, just to prove my point.

Whatever. The beginning of the metaphor hit the spot, for my process, at least. And the result is a clean download of formed words, ideas, instructions, that comes from all that masticating below the line of conscious processing.

Thank you. I’m very grateful for the tip-off, wherever it came from. Thank you, guides and crew and mind and body. Thank you for letting me in on this. You rock.