Day 426: Oh!

Oh, sweet, exciting day.

I THINK I did everything I needed to do before leaving. The one thing I know I did wrong was to lock the bag full of rubbish into the house before leaving. I had it so close to the door, ready to take. It contained things it shouldn’t have contained. Questionable plastic (as in plastic that I don’t think gets recycled, but that we always put in the recycling anyway – only not this time) and a guilty slice of bread that I should have eaten.

All that said, how nice to have calls with Sarahs Thomasin and Lonton and Cat Chapman, not at work today. Lovely people, lovely conversations. Lovely way to spend a day – flying towards something, and someone, not away from anything.

This last few months – longer, even, but especially March – has been the end of something. Properly the end. It feels so right to be taking this step right now. This may be a step, a leap, or just a stepping stone. It may be it may be nothing more than a diversion or it may be a whole new future. Well, it will be, just by its nature. This is new. Whatever comes of it, it’s part of something that’s already busy leading to something that hasn’t been before.

People smiled at me in the airport. I don’t think I had toothpaste. I think perhaps I may have been smiling quite widely. The check-in man sweetly gave me a whole row of seats to myself. I shunned them once we were airborne, as they were middle row. You can’t beat a window seat, if you’re me. I never tire of looking out. The people at the windows nearest me read papers with wide hands, then closed the blinds. It wouldn’t do. I had to move.

Last time I was vegetarian, what I disliked was the sense of being deprived – that ‘there’s nothing here for me’ spiral – so it was a pleasure to find that when the flight attendant told me that my request for a raw vegetarian feast had not ‘gone through’ and that there was no vegetarian option at all (meat or fish, take your pick), that feeling stayed away. I just said ‘bread?’ as I’d seen hot, fresh rolls come out. So I had a roll and a little bean salad, and then the lady went to business class to see if there was a vegetarian meal left over. There was. What a feast – and what a relief! Now I get to be vegetarian without turning into someone I don’t like.

I think it’s the fasting that’s done that. It’s only a seven-hour flight. If I’d have fasted the whole way, it’d only have been a quarter or so of the normal fast time for a single day. Cool beans. I’m glad. This is already good.

I watched Life of Pi on seat-back screen. Brilliant! As is sometimes my way with the flicks, I had a little cry (a couple, actually) before it had really even got underway. What lovely actors they were. A set of beautiful faces. And it was nice to hear some stories I’d heard, or heard of, before. Krishna is told off by his mother for eating dirt. When he denies it, she looks inside his mouth and sees… the whole universe! Ganesha doing something or other. Protecting Parvati, I think. I can’t quite remember, but it felt familiar and nice.

I didn’t remember that book being about God/religion/belief. I had forgotten, too, the pleasing fact that the Bengal tiger’s name is Richard Parker, a name that’s used in full throughout. I had no memory of how much love there was in the book. I was delighted.

I’m swinging, now, between grinning, all big-eyed, and feeling sweetly calm and settled. Today is a big deal. Today is fabulous. Bring it on.