Grateful: Day 93 - softer

I am grateful for my own getting up. It might not sound like much, but it's a feat. And for that water. That beautiful, cold, kissing water. And the sun. Always so grateful for the sun.

I wept a few times today, out of tiredness, frustration and a nasty, achy head. And then because I was moved by things. I am grateful for the patience and integrity of my coach, who just gave me a complimentary three-hour session and worked with me despite my having a face like a slapped arse and tears just below the surface at any given moment.

Thank you for that session. I get so much out of these sessions. They make a difference. I'm looking forward to dreaming it gently through tonight. Thank you for patient, clever, driven Kate Buchanan and for agreements made.

And thank you for my yoga class. After my dreadful day of damnation and today, where I felt all conflicted, I went to class. And class was good. The yoga seeped into my veins and through my system and calmed me. And I was greeted gently and warmly.

Nobody is forcing me to do anything. I'm just bending, breathing, focusing. I will continue to ruminate on all of this. I feel less angry than before (thank you again, Sarah) and more peaceful. Still knackered, though.

Thank you for a few mini contacts with the magnificent Esther Lilley. We may have missed each other, Lill, but it's so good to know you're there.

No pond tomorrow. I have to be at The Hub too early. It's breaking my heart. I'm not beating myself up - I really want to be there in that water, especially as I have to miss a few this week. But I'll accept it, and perhaps even make the most of an extra half hour in bed, or time for breakfast.

I must remember to take with me the leftover haggis and swede that Ruth so lovingly kept for me. What. A. Treat. Things are looking up.

And finally, Laura Furones, thank you for posting this link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=2cPHiA9rUPc

Not only is it BRILLIANT - the ultimate in face disco - but it was topped off with Spanish laughing from Laura (jajajajajaja)... which made it even better. It also gives me faith. If there are men in the world who do things like this, then there IS hope for me.