Day 211: Yearning #11 - Owlsong

I'm entirely spent. I yearn to have been asleep for an hour already, and to be bathed in dreams. I've had some outstanding ones recently, from the very graphic birth of a too small baby from my sister to a random person from a previous life (that sounds too new age - I mean a previous town - oh the melodrama) knocking on the door asking for a towel after having a shower, even though he already had one. I've had great universes open up over the last few nights. I yearn for even more.


I'm off now, to invite it. Bring it on.


PS - once again, I'm stupidly grateful for so much, though, and I do really want to say it. I'm grateful for how much I'm loving this job, and for a. how much Jerry (the other actor I'm working with) makes me laugh and b. how disgusted he would be to have made it onto my blog. 


I'm grateful for a pleasing bit of playing and an evening of tip-tappy, reasonably frantic working. Great fun. I'm grateful for Rob's relentless patience with me. Also for Michael's fabulous email, Vic's tasty text. I'm grateful that I get to be a bit silly, flirty, ridiculous as one of these characters. Again, it is made very clear to me indeed that I limit myself so deeply with my mind. What do you MEAN, you don't know how to flirt? That's ridiculous. I can really do it in character, which means I can actually do it if I want to. It doesn't mean I have to, but I can, and nobody's made appalled objections. So maybe today I yearn for a different kind of sanity, and a different kind of confidence.


Night, then.