Day 573: Shaving the Bacon

Bacon beard

I've just been to a horrible little hotel room - really, really nasty. It was a shed, actually, at the back of a pub, just outside where the smokers go out. When the (absolutely lovely) guy behind the bar led me there, I thought he was about to push me down into the cellar. It kind of felt like he had. It smelt so damp and wrong that I went and bought air freshener (which, as we all know, is the Devil's coughy lung-up). The bed was so narrow that if I'd so much as had an extra thought in the night, I'd have fallen out. Double yellow lines couldn't have slept in it. 

Bacony legs. By Francis Bacon

I sat down to use the internet (don't knock it, I thought. End up in a Jurys Inn and there's no such thing as internet access unless you're prepared to pay £14 a day for the privilege) and I was cold. I turned on the heater. Half an hour later and still in my coat, I was still cold. And then the brass band started up. I'm not shitting you. I went and had a look. There were about 25 of them rehearsing in the room that backs onto where I was. Not the point - they would have finished early and, had the bed been big enough to get into and the temperature warm enough to remove clothes, even for a second, to change into others, then I could have done both.

Then I thought 'I'm in luck... I don't have to do this' so I went and asked nicely to change rooms - not TO SOMETHING FIT FOR A HUMAN, as my shouty self might have led with - but just so. Clear, firm, friendly. I have no doubt I would have got my wish, and I'm pretty sure I'd have paid the same rate, only there weren't any other rooms. The hotel/inn/shed complex was fully booked. As was pretty much every hotel in Newbury, affordable or not. Except one. It was nearly twice the price and I'm paying personally (which never happens normally) but here we are... 

The Bacon Arms! Never stay there!

And at almost twice the price, it is at least five times as good. The bathroom is genuinely bigger than the first room (and it's not THAT big). The staff were as lovely as the other guy, so that's on a par. One got really excited about my room and my view, though, which was nice. Evidently, it being really dark, I had no idea I even had a view. The room is four times the size of the one I'm living in. I've ignored the telly. The bed was lovely and despite being a very old building, it's warm enough. And they gave me a tenner to spend in the bar, which was nice of them (oh, the days when that would have resulted in a bad head and a crappy day's work the next day - not any more). 

So, I'm off to do a cartwheel before I go to work, and I'm feeling very grateful about my decision, and the capacity to do this. Oh, and thank you, Lynden, for the tip about paying for expenses on a credit card. That's ace, that is.