Day 519: Severe Meta Warning

I spoke at the Catalyst Club last night. About writing this blog. I enjoyed it very much (in the end). In the beginning, I was afraid. Remember, remember, remember this. It's worth doing it. The things I am afraid of almost always turn out to be the things I enjoyed the most.

A very lovely thing that also happened last night was the appearance of some lovely people - Miriam, Nick and Lila. Lila is one. They sat next to me at the Catalyst Club. Lila was fast asleep at first and then woke up. She was very entertaining (and very quiet, considering). I liked them all. They were from Australia. They were warm and lovely and they helped me relax. Miriam answered a question from the audience when I didn't know the answer. She also said afterwards 'that was so much better than I expected it to be', which was a compliment. They were the people who got to witness my self-doubt. It felt almost simpler than that. It wasn't low self esteem style self doubt so much as actually not knowing whether or not it would be okay. It was. That was nice.

I enjoyed being in front of an audience and I enjoyed interacting with the people in it. As usual, some of my favourite bits were unplanned. Of course I'd do the whole thing differently if I did it again. I do want to do it again, though. Deffo.

Today, vegetables and more very fine people. I went to Dave and Rachel's house in Egremont Place. Excursions were playing, so Rob and Ella were there too and Rob's brilliant wife Pamela (and wide-eyed, rap-dancing boy). I like them all very much. The gig was just right - they were really playful and joyful and skilful. It rocked. It rapped. I was so glad I went (I was yawning like a bike-riding abyss on the way there. I made a man laugh in the street with it).

I also met lovely Tina, smiley and interesting and down to earth, and her delightful friend Andy, all soul-eyes and groundedness. He seemed very open and positive. I liked him. He and Rachel (and Tina too, I think) go to the five rhythms class in Brighton on Tuesdays. And that's a drop-in too, I've discovered, a fact about which I am very happy. I wonder if it's on this week. There was a rash of Spanish people there too, which is always nice, and a just delicious couple who gave ConorJatter a lift to the station. 

Too cool for grammar, Mr Killah?

Speaking of joy (I was speaking of it), just as I was basking in the joy emanating from Rob as he made the music after the gig, Dave named it. Pure, moving joy. It was beautiful to watch and as always, I secretly, shamefully want to have at my fingertips the whole of his playlist. I feel too uncool for rap music, and I love it. I find it hard to keep names in my head and know that if I say the names, they're almost certain to slip out in proper plummy RP - "The Notorious B.I.G., did you say? And Ghostface Killah... Shouldn't that have a hyphen, young man?"