Day 398: What Is Love Anyway?

The creepy monkey's back again. Still love him.

(This morning)
I may struggle with my relationship with facebook, but today it gave me this:

http://zengarage.com.au/2013/03/marina-abramovic-and-ulay/

This speaks to me about so many things. About presence and honesty, of course. About how being present is being with what is, including the richness, pain, joy, love of real emotions. It makes me think about time. What is present is this man in front of this woman - not a stranger as she had expected but a long-ago lover. What sits in front of her, then, is this man, carrying with him moments of passion and moments of pain, the Great Wall of China and a life-changing goodbye hug, love and maturity, change and years of distance. All of these things are present even though they are past. Or are they? 

Celebratory wing-flapping

Her emotion appears in this moment, but it is fanned by winds from the past, and possibly from the future. She breathes and she comes back to herself. She follows where she is and reaches out to him. This is now. Crowded round now, though, are faces from the past, like nosey family members crashing the party. 

They share a moment of intense connection and then she lets go again, drops inside, breathes herself back into her body as he walks away. She can't forget that this happened, but she can breathe, accept that it's there and be present again for her next visitor, even if part of her presence shares its space with this experience, which the new stranger also shared. 

Sweet-faced beaming dog and unsure companion

It also makes me think about stories and truth. What's so compelling about this is the truth in it and the vulnerability. Stretch that to an impro show - the audience wants to see the character affected and the player as open as this. We love to see our performers taken by surprise, but it's not some kind of Schadenfreude that fuels this. On a fundamental level, it's love. 

Grinny monkey

Let's paint a few layers on top... Seeing someone affected means seeing something touch the core of them. Most of us spend quite some time protecting our core, making sure others don't see it. Sometimes, we protect it even, or especially, from those closest to us, and that's a shame. Love shared with another person is (to me, in this moment) sharing the parts that are close to that delicate core, that shell-less crab of true feeling, whether excitement, happiness, sadness or confusion. I think that's a courageous decision. 

Giddy sheep

A relationship is no doubt more complex than this and it's a matter of degree. Maybe if we expressed every single thing that moves and changes us, every hair of doubt, every twinge of maybe or rush of can't live without you, a relationship might become just too intense to be sustainable, not in a passion way, but in a 'god, I'm just exhausted' way. If we think that loving our child means sharing with it every mood swing or thought process, I suspect the goal of good parenting and helping shape a happy, balanced adult from this malleable child-clay might suffer. It's a matter of the deepest honesty in sensible portions. I think. 
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(Later)
Grateful to Kate for the love of a longstanding friend, for her wisdom and creative cleverness, and for her happiness. It's a delight to witness.

A very pleasing fox indeed

If I said 'best skype ever', would you believe me? Whether you do or not, I'm still smiling.  I should be in bed, but I'm busy sitting up, smiling. I should be meditating (and I will) but at the moment, this is all I can do. 

I realise that my choice of images is entirely inappropriate for this morning's post, which is more thoughtful and the clip so moving. They're about how I'm feeling now, not when I wrote that bit. Still, that's why it's great that this is my blog. I get to post pictures that make me happy, even if they spoil the mood. 

Facebook also gave me this today. It warms my heart in another way and reminds me of happy times with musical instruments and howlers. Who would not love this creature? 

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=510752318942659&set=vb.179133545551790&type=2&theater

Love is all kinds of things, and I'm gently, openly, hugely grateful for every single one.