Day 408: Saved

this hurts the soul

Bradford makes you want to kill yourself. Honestly, on a day like today - grey, cold, darkish, unforgiving - it's hard to understand how this place is even populated. I'd there to be washed-out, limp corpses lining the streets, desperate, forlorn and devoid of all hope, even in death. This is the Dementor of towns. It sucks the life and love and soul out of you and lets it trickle down a dirty drain. 

this is not the baby

Having said that, people are friendly (it's all they have - this town gives no gifts to its residents - it's up to them to do it for each other) and the accent has a sing-song warmth that makes me feel softer inside. Hence no corpses, maybe. For now. For now. 

I had a hot chocolate and a smile-off with a bald and toothless baby in Costa, trying to get warm after too long in the bitter Bradford air and a little bit of a shock at the top of a hill. It did the trick. Hot chocolate, I could live without, but guerning at juicers (that's Vic's word for babies) is always a winner. Even the ones that don't want to engage... when you win them over with a particularly graceless facial stretch, the satisfaction is hard to beat. 

this is almost the cat I spoke to

The work I was doing was physically painful in my brain and in my soul. It was dull as all shit, overly complicated (not complex - just done in such a way that it felt like it was) and a little bit unfathomable. This doesn't bode well. That plus Bradford... I was in danger. I had to leave. Thanks, by the way, for a fabulous sister and a wonderful friend there to catch me in a moment of flap. Bigly appreciated. Very bigly.

this is who

A search for yoga in Leeds city centre threw up gold. A class with the wonderful Joey Miles, of the yoga shala I was visiting in Leeds at dawn with Daniel while I was in York. I'd wanted to go to his early morning class, but there's no way I'd have got there. Thank you, Lilley, for ignoring my doubts about it being a long way, transport costs, general reticence and saying 'just go'. I just went. From feeling like a strand of lank hair, all limp and straggly and uncentred, I am now back. Lovely Joey was warm and welcoming and confused about where I could live if I was turning up at another of his classes... London? York? Leeds? Bradford? No - London, soon Brighton. It's a long story. And the class... oh, the class. 

this is where

Joey is the kind of person who gives yoga a good name (as are a few others I am lucky enough to know). Clear. If I only had one word for Joey, it would be 'clear'. He's also warm, very human, very strong and focused and good. Straightforward. This was a counted class. I've never done a counted Ashtanga class before. It was really good and really challenging, but it made the primary series make sense. My first (almost) full round. And afterwards? I feel in touch with my legs. I'm in touch with my hip joints and my triceps. I'm in touch with my breath and more than anything, I'm back in touch with my soul. God, I'm so grateful. It's good to be back. 

this is just silly

Great intro about watching his 5-year-old daughter at gymnastics class, doing many yoga poses. What's the difference, he asked? The difference is in the intention. The difference is in why you do this and in the gratitude you bring to the practice. My session was better for it. And the session was great. I was beautifully adjusted a good few times and very warmly looked after. I am SO glad I went. 

this is the town that needs an antidote

To end the evening, I had a skype call with a cat (no shit. This really happened) and dinner with a stranger (a woman I'd bumped into in the corridor last night and again today - it seemed only right). Oh, and I did a fruit 'fast' for half the day... I only ate fruit but I forgot at the hot chocolate choice point. Then I did yoga and was hungry and ate salad and green beans and possibly a rather special pudding. Very possibly.

Today went the right way round... from down to up. As Lilley said to me today, if you're ever in doubt about a yoga class, just do it. Yes. One to remember, that. Bradford nearly had me today. Grace, yoga and good people saved me. My hands are folded. My eyes are closed. Get ready for a lovely long OMMMMMMMM.