Grateful: Day 50 - Oi

My goodness, I've been a grumpy arse-face today. I've been tense, controlly and uptight. Well done me!

I am grateful for Sarah, Our Face, who has laughed at me and offered little flashes of perspective ('Yes, I think most of it probably is in your head' etc.). And who's spent the day being cast in plaster, dragged to the launderette, shown the charity shops of Muswell Hill, covering stuff in Vaseline (including herself), making a face with clay, distressing paper and papier mache-ing with patience and focus. And laughing. And farting, if I'm honest. Usually with some laughing attached. It's been a good day, doing that, and she's been ridiculously patient without humouring me too much. Thanks.

The pond felt warmer this morning, even though the air was warmer. Usually, it's the other way round. I really enjoyed dunking my face. I swam a few strokes underwater. It felt weirdly decadent. I'm going to experiment, next week, with avoiding the warm water over my torso and having a cold shower when I get out (feels warmer than the pond water anyway) to see what difference it makes. I'll have to stop dunking and then washing my hair at some point, so save my frozen bonce on the way to wherever I'm going. Not yet, though, eh? Not quite.

I haven't done a yoga today. Maybe in a moment, when I've finished here. Just the tricky back bends (they're the hardest for me) and the sitty one that helps you digest.

Thank you an email from Rob, with ideas in it. Ace. Just seen it. And for Ruth. And all the people calling and coming to see her, and offering her shopping and bringing her flowers. And for her being so gracious.

Tomorrow, we get to play. Masky, masky. A bunch of good eggs coming to do some playing. I'm looking forward to that. Bigly. I'll play too, this time. It's useful. It's fun. It's part of the workshop to see more developed masks learn. I feel my brains a bit like jelly tonight, though, so I'll sleep and make them ready for action tomorrow. Playing. It has to be fun. Good stuff.

Good call with TheYoungBuck Steele, in preparation. Good bumble on my bike, to deliver a card. Good bits of mind-play in my head, but with realness and calm too. It's all okay.

I'm grateful for the three new upturned faces on my table, and for the trappings of making stuff all around. There are six faces on my bed. That's cool too. Let's play, let's play. Tomorrow, you get to come alive.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, and thank you, Nicola Sokell, for State of Play logos serendipitously knocked up (her words) a few days ago, just when I need them. And for funny but strangely pushy launderette lady; for Lydia bringing my paints all the way up to Muswell Hill - bigly appreciated; for bacon and eggs, for chicken and for pudding.

Thank you for so much to be grateful for, despite unbelievable levels of grump. It makes a difference, even when both are true.

So many things. So much still to do.