Esther Lilley. Esther Lilley. Eeeeestheeeer Liiiiiiiilleeeeyyyyyyy.I had a whole afternoon with Esther Lilley today. How lucky am I? Sorry not to see Daniel, but greedy, too, for Lilley-time. I don't see her enough, but when I do, oh how nice. She is elegant on so many levels, generous, delicious and funny. If she was a cake, I'd eat three in a row. If she was* a book, I'd read her again. I might even write a little review and put it on amazon. Five stars. Don't miss this!
We talked and talked. We walked. Hampstead Heath again. I know, I know, it's not the only place in London, but it is nice, and I'm still quite new to it. We discovered new parts of it today. I'm still not quite sure which parts they were, but they were very beautiful. I may never find them again.
I learnt a lot. I benefit from Lilley's goodness with her mentor. She helps and teaches me. And the difference in her, in Lilley, since she has been working with him, is really something else. She has become not just a flowy, generous delight and skilled teacher, full of all the skills that bring the best out in each person, but also a very astute entrepreneur. No flake with this woman. She has more focus than most people will ever have and yet she keeps that human touch alive.
I am now the proud owner of a pair of yak-wool bootees (slippers, slipper socks) from Actual Nepal (thank you, Daniel, thank you, Lilley), a tiny window angel (thanks, Lill), very cute, and a strange and very pleasing finger bird in neon colours, also yak wool (Daniel, perfect choice). I think it's supposed to go on a pencil. I suspect it will spend more time on my finger, having adventures and that.
Thank you to and for Esther Lilley, waves of such fabulously matchy lengths. It's funny. Often Lilley and I are on balances at different times, which is useful - one can say the thing that will inspire the other. The other, knowing that these waves seem to work like biorhythms, is apt to listen. Today we were on pleasing pars.
And the Heath was givey. It gave us sunlight and a crescent moon. It gave us woods and lakes and ponds and ... heath? It gave us stunning cityscapes at different stages of the light. It gave us walks in darkness. It gave us beauty to be by. It gave us calm.
Thank you for a lovely meal prepared for me when I got home. Thank you, Ruth. Liver. Liver. Liver. So good they named it three times. Doesn't quite work, does it, that? It was good though, that liver, and very apt. At the vegetable stall, with Lill, the green vegetables called to me and I walked away with a
massive stalk of kale (along with my grapefruit and a bunch of radishes). I must be needing iron, that's my point. Makes sense.
I love that my body is so good at showing what it needs. Evidently, it often thinks it needs a pudding, which it doesn't, but that's a different bit. When I rule out processed sugar/heavy carbs/fat - not for ever, but just in this context, and my eye goes straight to the kale, I think it's clear. Or when I find myself daydreaming about different liver dishes I have eaten. That's when I know.
And thank you - after all this time, a call with Øyvind and more work, exciting, fresh, brilliant stuff I'm really excited about. Ace. Everything has its time, its rhythm. Holding tighter doesn't make things happen. I'm not saying it's predefined... just that gripping tight with mind and jaw just makes your mind and jaw hurt. Holding some things a little looser is just fine by me. This feels like the right time to start with this again, and I'm a bit clearer (I think) about what I need to work well... thanks to Rob for much of that.
This, and having ideas with Øyvind, made me realise I've missed working with him and I've missed my chats with Rob this last week or so - we've had a chat or two and ideas, but we're in completely different time zones. I also realise, thanks to all sorts of things and people, and bigly Lill today, that I have to get some structure and discipline in my life. I need to get me some regular working hours and bloody well work during them, and say no. This doesn't mean the end of flexibility - it just means that I need to take responsibility for working the hours I choose and if I want to be flexible, I make them up, just like when you're employed. Then maybe I can feel good about the time I do take off and do with it what I will, rather than constantly having in my mind the things I should be doing. I'm waking up early with the stress of it, but that's not helping change it.
I am grateful, so very grateful, for people contacting me to offer me work. It sounds a bit passive, but I like it. When I want to strive for something specific, then I will. Right now, I love hearing what people have me in mind for. Let's do this shit. Let's do it.
I swam at noon today. Well, five past. It wasn't like a duel. The water was six degrees. It honestly felt warm. Well, warmer. Noticeably so. I swam at noon because I couldn't drag my sorry arse out of bed this morning. I lay there having a massive chat with myself. I bored myself back to sleep, but I didn't get up. I never considered not swimming, but I broke the golden 'first thing' rule. No harm in that. I prefer the early shift, but it's nice to try it out at different times.
Oh... I looked at the photos sent by Mike Lawn (thank you Mike)... There were some really nice ones (which is saying a lot - most people don't like photos of themselves). I did notice with some trepidation that the article's title is/was/will be 'Baby Goggles'.... hmmm. Well, what did I expect? It is the Daily Mail.
* I know I should write 'if she were...' but it just seems a bit wank. Sorry.
No comments:
Post a Comment