Grateful: Day 109 - Spent

I am one exhausted puppy today. Limp of limb and just a bit dangly. What a day.

The first time I’ve done a particular event for Power Train and actually, the first time I’ve done training/presenting for them. I love it that whenever I do something new, I get a boost from the achievement. I also have a real sense of how much I have to learn – partly because I can be terribly hard on myself and want it all to be perfect and partly because there IS so much further to go before I’m slick and an old hand… and that’s the very nature of doing something for the same time. I learnt a lot today, and I enjoyed it. And now I’m spent.

I love that in the stuff I do with Rob (as in drop2.co.uk Rob), that state of always learning is at the forefront. That state of discovery and not-slickness (though in some bits, moments of slickess shine through – a good game, a great scene, some perfect music.

It’s wonderful to do these new things with the support of good-hearted people. That was good today. I was amazed at my own state this morning. Although I was (reasonably) really quite nervous, and doubting whether I’d do a good enough job, whether I’d let them down, I was calm and relaxed. I actually felt calm at the same time as having nerves. The calm definitely won.

Thank you for a feast at Paddington – a brie and bacon surprise and some dirty Burger King chips (thanks, Claire). Odd, this. I was going to have a burger too, but something kicked in. Not in a guilt way, but just in a ‘I don’t want to do this’ way. The bread is full of sugar and the whole thing is drenched in ketchup. Sure, the chips aren’t good for you, but it was a concession.

And I spent the day surrounded by coffee, sweets, a delicious-smelling chai latte drink and all sorts of other goodies, and it was easy not to eat or drink them.

Again, that ‘ooh, I’ll be bad’ feeling was totally erased. It’s more that I love the feeling of not being crowded by my cravings and dosed up with sugar and stimulants. It feels nice and I want that nice feeling to carry on, so I will. I don’t think I’ve lost a fingernail of weight, but I feel better. That has to be good.

And here I am in my room at the Premier Inn. Two things are true of this room that delight me. It has a double bed and it has a bath. I have already partaken of both, to some extent, and I’ve even washed my presenting pants (Yorkshire pants) and my smartest shirt.

And I’ve done my work. And I’ve done my blog. There are only minutes between me and unconsciousness. Ah, bliss.