Grateful: Day 128 - Tinkle Tinkle

The ice I swam through was nothing like this

Finally! Finally, the tinkle. More of a clunk. Somewhere in between, in fact. In an attempt to introduce more mood-enhancing discipline to my days, I got up early this morning. While I didn't acheive my goal of leaving the house at five past seven, I did manage to make it out by quarter past, so I was at the pond in what still just about counts as the first shift. 


I bumped in to Mary Bike-Politics - which was nice. I haven't seen her for months due to my failure to get there early. The cold tonight was somewhat unexpected. When they expect ice, they put the aerators on, so it doesn't form. Today, they weren't expecting it, so when she got there, it was still proper solid. By the time I got in, you could easily swim steps to steps and a little bit further, but the ice started almost invisibly, very nearby.

So I swam. I was calm - I know the water feels less cold when the air is bitter - but excited to have my first ice dip. As I swam, there were little sheetlets of ice, some of them as big as faces, floating in the water. They were no more than a few millimetres thick, but they made a difference. I got one caught at my throat as I swam. Interesting sensation. I went back and forth in the swimmable bits a good few times. I was so excited! The whole sensation was And the Heath behind was beautifully pale and frosty. I saw dogs bounding. On the pond, the ducks stood not even half a metre away, already on the ice. I loved it. 
I feel very grateful. Oh, and thank you, Heike Reissig, for sending me a link to lots of pictures of smiling people in cold water. The above was one of my favourites.
I spent the day at The Hub. I was quiet, but it was nice. I discovered today that pleasing Multi-Alex is leaving. It's good for him, of course. I'll miss him, though. He's always so nice to me. And he's both determinedly negative and quite smiley. I feel kind of better when he's there, even if we don't always speak. Ah well. New moves for him. Has to be good. 

Today's 'no reason' image

I sent off a proposal today. I have everything crossed that it'll work. It'd be a good, meaty, fun challenge. Just after, a good meeting with Rob. Lots of ideas, still to be written up. We're playing with failing tomorrow. I'm grateful too for offers of work, whether or not I can take them. I have to accept that things aren't what they were a week ago on that front, and it looks like I'm taking steps backwards. Maybe it's just so I can adjust my direction. 


Yoga was calming, though I'm in big old dilemmas about the school. The whole guru thing is sitting heavy in my stomach like a bad Scotch egg. There's horrible things on the internet about the guru, and blogs by women who used to be in the school (or cult, as many sites call it). I have to make my own mind up, and the presence of striptease and lap-dancing associated with karma yoga disturb me, as does some of the terminology ('the women offered this dance as a gift to the men' - there are so many things in that sentence that make me feel a little bit uncomfortable). Discomfort, though, is not a bad thing in itself. It can lead to good things, and to positive changes. I just need to watch my gullible side, and be careful, careful, that old patterns don't lead me towards something that will be more painful the further in I go. 


This is one more thing to sleep on. And it's time.