Today, I am grateful for good, talented colleagues and lovely people, both here and tucked away in the West of somewhere. I would be lying if I pretended today was easy. It really wasn't. But tomorrow will be easier, and for that, I'm grateful. And that today is, for the most part, over.
Today doesn't bear talking about, other than to say that my core felt calm in the face of a difficult situation, and that I handled it well, on the face of things. And there were moments when I genuinely smiled, or laughed, or thought about the comparative ridiculousness of the situation I found myself in. There were other moments where I felt less good, but again, it's great that the two can sit side by side without too much bleed.
And sometimes, no really does mean yes (not about sex). Sometimes, the right thing happens. Today, the right thing happened. It felt bad in some ways, and it wasn't the outcome I'd have chosen, at all, but it has happened, again I've learnt a few things and I have no doubt that in some ways, it's a positive outcome. I'm not just kidding myself. Earlier, I tried to write this in the blog and I didn't mean it yet, so I stopped. I was pretending. Now I've had more time to think and I agree with myself wholeheartedly. I wish this hadn't happened, but the change of course will be worth it.
It's a change that causes some fear. But I know the universe is looking out for me. I still feel supported and part of things, and I know it won't let me down. Already evidence of that today. I still feel blessed. I feel it and I am.
I am grateful for Chinese food and laughter this evening; for K's tales of Avatar, told with such passion, and for C's strange peanut requests. And for tea filters found without much ado at all, and bought quite simply and cheaply. I'm grateful that I resisted buying a horrible mug that I don't have room for anyway. Well done, me.
I'm looking forward to seeing Ruth tomorrow. A lot. And I'm looking forward to a leisurely lunch about 1pm tomorrow afternoon. There are other things I can be grateful for tonight. I can sleep gently, with all my faculties focused on nothing but relaxing my brain. Aaaaahhhhhhh. Ommmmmmm. Amen.
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