Grateful: Day 124 - 2+2

Why am I single?

My eyes are all prickly with tired, but I am delighted to be here. My fingers are happy in front of this blog, and my soul is breathing gently again. I have been feeling lost over the past few days, but now, even though I feel I'm still pulling on the pedals to get up the next hill, there is a glow over the lip of it. I'll never be 'there', but it's feeling like there might just be a revelation at the top of this one.


Beautiful water today. My breath is still disappearing for a moment or two when I push out into that cold water, and my vision goes slightly wild. Not quite enough to be sure, but there is some effect. I imagine that a Ribena berry toy sees like that when you squeeze it and its sticky rubber eyes bulge out. There's a liquidness in the way I see in that cold. 

Every day, though, I go a tiny bit further. My next step is to bring myself back to heel and start going early again, at a regular time, so I can see the ladies that helped get me started and keep me turning up every day. I miss them. I miss Ruth too. Have I said? I really do. But soonish, she'll come back to the pond, and there'll be an extra motivation to get out of bed that bit earlier, so I can get back to seeing her daily. 


My room is lovely, and the house is nice. I'm grateful, of course, for that. And I miss the conversations, and the company. There's musings of a trip to Barnet Dump tomorrow. I'd be game. Let's see, let's see. Fingers crossed.


Thank you for an out of the blue remittance notice. It's only enough to bring me back to almost the brink of in the black-ness, but it's avoided charges, so that's great.


Thank you, Catherine, for driving all the way over to play at making faces. Catherine started a brand new mask and I stuck papier mache on two part-finished ones. The paper's a bit too thick. The last batch was a bit too thin. Next lot will be perfect, I tell you. We'll get there. I'm going to go crazy with the sandpaper, see what I can do. 

Sausages - with added chouchou veg

We had fun. Good, wise conversation. Sausages. Cake. Laughing and musing. Getting covered in glue and clay. Looking at faces and building new ones. I am aching to play. I really hope I can get to Denmark. I'm not sure now, with this batch of cancelled work. I really don't know if I can do it - all my plans may have to change. But I kind of trust that the right bits will pull through. I need to sit and listen carefully to the tugging in my belly and find out what the thing is that I want to do. I trust I'll be provided for. 




And I've just had a long conversation with a beloved friend. I'm grateful beyond measure. I love her very much, and I've missed her. Life is big and it sometimes wraps things up and they need teasing out. Have you ever tried to eat one of those triangular food packages from Wasabi? They're supposed to be simple, but you usually end up with rice falling off, filling on the pavement and sheets of nori inaccessible between slivers of cellophane. Sometimes, you just have to be patient and eat the bits you can.


I'm loving the new updates, Blogger. You've made things so much more intuitive and easy. You've made the photo bit, a bit I really love, a whole lot easier. And there are all sorts of other new features. You've put a lot of thought into this. Well DONE! And thank you.


Oh, and the dog link pasted onto my wall by lovely Steve Wheeler. I have seen it before, but there are different shots here, and it made me smile all over again. 


This one tempts me to say 'see that, that's your mum, that is'. I'm not sure who I'm saying it to. But there you go, it's said. Not that your mum chases balls or has a hairy face, or looks like an alien baby. Anyway, in case you've missed it, here it is again:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/14/underwater-dog-photos-seth-casteel_n_1277404.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003#s692316&title=Underwater_Photos_Of


There are some I don't remember from last time. The front shot of this link is delicious.

Underwater Dog Photography, Step 3. Ready?

This shot is the 'making of' one. I like how engaged he is with the dogs already, and I like very much the position of the front one's bum.




Oh, oh, oh... and I had a call from regal Jack Rebaldi today. He named himself for me, because he'd read my blog and knew I'd called him that. Well he is. A veritable king of all sorts of things, that man. With the best laugh ever. 

I'm looking forward to a productive day and to some gentle sleep, full of blessings. Thank you for this renewed gentleness in my mind. Thank you.

I asked you a fucking QUESTION! Why am I SINGLE? Oh. Oh yes...