Day 300: Sweet Cheeks

A mango makes everything better

I re-wrote yesterday's blog. I didn't like what I'd said. It's the first time I've done that and I'm kind of regretting it in a way - why change it? Why not just leave it as it is and write the changes into this one. It's done now, though. I don't know that I could put it back to how it was. It was the stabiliser bit. I felt bad that I'm dating people and possibly not really considering it 'real life' even though there's someone who's very nice indeed, who I respect and like the company of. There's definitely a division in my mind, though... real life and internet life. You know too much about someone and not enough. More than anything, you know the things they want to present as who they are (rather, even, than who they genuinely think they are). 

I think I like the chance to observe someone who's not trying to impress me that way, who doesn't even have me on their radar, maybe. Then you see more of the real person and if you find yourself heading down that path, then it's because you like their 'easy' face. You like what they say when they're just saying it. You like what they look like when they're looking the other way. Although it's terribly exciting when they look you right in the eye and don't do scared when you look back.

Once you start googling 'prosthetic cheeks'...

And now it's the end of the day and I'm writing again. I've just had the best evening ever, because things went all wrong. First, the day: I had fun at work. Our last day on this job, so Jerry, if this is possible, was even more on fire than on the last two days. He was hilarious. Better than stand-up (but still hitting the job in the face, of course). It's hard to match him, but it's such fun to be around. 

For my part, I scared the life out of a man. It's not the first time, in character or othewise, but perhaps my current ruminations played a part. I play a very brash, outrageously flirtatious character in one of the scenes. When it gets to the bit where the audience interact with us, I usually select a man to flirt with. This guy was confident, nice looking, vocal. In character, I flirted the poor man into the ground. It's all within the bounds of the job, for comedy and for the purpose of the session, but I have to confess, it's great fun to do. I don't do it in real life - partly because it's not really my style and partly because if I did I'd terrify most men and those I attracted would be after someone that I'm not. Being like that for real would be exhausting! God, it's liberating to play with, though. I get to play her again tomorrow. I'll go easy on him - no need to push it. Such fun, though. Such delicious, domineering fun. 

And this evening, I bowled* on down to Peckham Rye to see my lovely new friend Karen (thank you, Emily) and her flat. I may take over her room for a few weeks while she's away. I arrived at seven to find her outside the flat. I thought she'd just got home but no - she was locked out! She showed me the garden and we peered into the flat, but there was no way of getting in. No sweat. We went for a wander. She showed me the area. We ate vegetarian Thai food in a corner cafe (until some very drunk and very loud people took it over - they were so dominating that I nearly went to the window after we'd left and treated them to my ugly dance - my 'I'm sorry you're so loud' dance. My 'shut the fuck up, you brash beasts' dance). I didn't, but I did a taste of it for Karen. Much more fun than doing it at them, really. 

We talked and talked. The house was still inaccessible, so we went to a bar and drank various citrussed drinks. We talked some more. I left feeling inspired and excited. Thanks to our conversation, I watched this Ted talk by Giles Duley - someone Karen knows. It moved me deeply and made me cry. He's been taking photographs all his life and he now has a prosthetic hand that allows him to use a camera. He was dignified and terribly normal. By that I mean very approachable and vulnerable on stage - no front. Just him. He made a few jokes, but his presence as a speaker was in no way flashy. It just was. He just was. There were times that I wanted to cry just because of the passion in his voice and the love that I read into it. Really impressive stuff, Mr Duley. My hat is all the way off.
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/giles_duley_when_a_reporter_becomes_the_story.html

These cheeks would have bounce-back

Karen told me a beautiful love story too, about Giles. THAT moved me to tears too. That really made me prickle in my spine and think. It's courageous to be that vulnerable. It's admirable. It's honourable. She made me feel lovely with all the things we talked about. She's a good egg. May India treat her kindly. I'm sure it will. 

Karen has the most beautiful skin you've ever seen - smooth and glowing with health. Her eyes are bright. She looks über healthy. I bet she has good poking cheeks. I must remember to ask. When I was very close to Amanda Garcia (about whom I [also] spoke with affection this evening), we used to poke each other's cheeks. Press an index finger against your own cheek and it feels like nothing. Poke your finger against the pip of another person's cheek and it resists. It feels very strange and every cheek offers a different poking sensation. It's like when you cross your fingers and touch the end of your nose and you cant' quite work out where the sensation's going. A bit like that. Karen - Emily too - actually most people who'll let me: we got cheek-poking to do. 

These would not

I realise I also have sleeping to do. I had a lovely chat with Ruth when I got back, which was great, but that was 11.30 already and now it's closer to 1 than 12 and I'm swimming in the morning. See you then. Top that, tomorrow. Top that!

* This word is brought to you courtesy of Nick "King Prawn" Blagmaster, about whom I spoke with affection this evening. I love that man. He absolutely rocks.